By investing in your marriage now, and throughout your lives together you will be protecting yourself and your partner from life’s discontents, boosting each other’s mental as well as physical health and insuring long term happiness and satisfaction in life.
In our work together I will guide you and your partner through the Five Steps to Building a Healthy Marriage. Let’s look at each one:
1. Create a Vision Together
One of the key tasks of premarital counseling is to increasing your clarity about the kind of life you want to build together. We will also look at the latest research findings, behaviors and practices that lead to a healthy marriage vs. those that end in divorce or discontent ( yes, this has been researched) and what that means for your lives together.
2. Identify Your Path (s)
In order to support this vision you will both get clear on the kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create. This involves looking at the relationship as a whole but also the individual strengths and contributions of each person.
3. Strengthening the Foundation: Communication and Resources
Next we will look at how you and your partner prefer to be loved. This includes love languages but also the “magic ratio” that your marriage needs to stay healthy on a daily basis. Naming your values, attitude and skills is also key. We will look at and practice the essential communication skills that all couples need to feel loved and appreciated. I will actively coach you and give you feedback so you know when you are on the right track.
4. The Zen of Relationships: Dealing with Conflict and Stress
Since stress is an inevitable part of both life and marriage, it’s important to look at how you and your partner’s unique stress physiology play out under stress. This is an element that most traditional premarital therapist leave out, yet it is so important! We will look at how to tell when you and your partner are “going over threshold” and what they need from you in those moments. You will also get to know your own “threshold” and “window of tolerance” for handling stress and how to communicate with your partner at these critical times.
5. Fortifying Resilience: Planning for Future Growth
A healthy marriage is like a healthy ecosystem. With the right combination of care and attention it becomes a life-giving place you can live and depend on for sustenance on a regular basis. In this last step we will review all the elements of healthy marriage, the skills you learned, and your commitments to yourself and each other. We’ll address what it takes to keep your marital “ecosystem” healthy and sustain growth in the long run.
Looking for a Marriage and Family Therapist that specializes in Premarital Counseling in St, Louis Missouri?
Contact us to book an appointment:
(314) 827-5448 or danielle@danceofchange.com or fill out an appointment request here