Category Archives: Body-Mind Medicine

Let us explore integrative and scientifically proven strategies that help us move toward wholeness and make a difference in our lives.  This can include yoga, somatic therapy, mindfulness, meditation, mindful movement and somatic experiencing and the intersection between theses practices.

The 4 Stress Responses & Their Effect on Relationships

Body-Mind Medicine, , ,

…And the three elements that help shift them.

Stressed women curled up stress response

The 4 Stress Responses

Understanding the 4 stress responses and their effect on relationships is crucial because when we experience stress, our bodies go into a state of alarm when we experience stress, our bodies go into a state of alarm. This is a natural response that helps us to prepare to deal with threats. Not everyone experiences stress in the same way, but everyone experiences different variations of the same general responses. It is important to know how to manage stress symptoms when it comes to our personal lives and in our relationships. There are four main stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

No doubt, you have heard of them, at least a little bit. However, many people are unaware when they themselves are in a stress response. What’s easier and more common is to see the stress response in someone else rather than in yourself. This happens in couples all the time. Let’s look at each of the four stress responses and how to manage them. First, from an individual perspective, and then from the perspective of a relationship.

Fight

Fight is the most common stress response and often our first go-to reaction. When we fight, our bodies release hormones that increase our heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension. This prepares us to physically confront the threat. These changes over time can lead to common physical experiences such as chest pain or tightness, sweating, and breathing changes, such as shallow breathing or rapid breathing. Internally, the primary characteristic of fight is judgment or criticism.

If you find yourself thinking that you have been wronged or that you are bad or wrong, you’re probably stuck in fight. There can be an obsession with the wrongdoing of others and feelings of injustice. Fight can also be turned inward and experienced as self-criticism and eventually depression. With a spouse or family member, you can notice other signs as well. Changes in facial expressions, such as frowning, grimacing, or clenching the jaw are common. They may become more fidgety, or avoid eye contact. You might also notice changes in their voice, such as speaking more quickly or quietly, or with a higher or lower pitch. Your partner may become suddenly withdrawn, irritable, or angry, or make more mistakes than usual.

Flight

Flight is another common stress response. When we flee, our bodies release hormones that help us to run away from the threat. This is a more adaptive response than fight when the threat is too dangerous to confront. It is a natural reaction to a perceived threat, and it involves the body preparing to run away from danger. Internally, you may notice some of the same symptoms that you would when you are in a fight response, however, the internal experience is different. Increased heart rate and blood pressure, muscle tension, and rapid breathing are just some of the physical signs. The main characteristic of flight is obsessive thinking.

Worry and obsessive thoughts are the most common feature. Thoughts tend to center around either what could go wrong in the future, planning or preparing for it, or what went wrong in the past and ruminating on it. There is an avoidance of the present moment and a quickening pace. You can notice this in others in their speech and behavior patterns. Your partner or family member’s facial expressions might look fearful or panicked. They might fidget or pace, and avoid eye contact more than usual. They might also appear grumpy or short-tempered, but the underlying emotion is fear. With the flight response, the impulse to get away or escape is real.

Couple in Flight Stress Response

Freeze

Freeze is the least common stress response in the general population and it is the most common stress response when it comes to trauma. This is especially true with medical trauma, sexual trauma, and early developmental or relational trauma. However, even without trauma, we all experience freeze at times. When you freeze, your body goes into a state of immobility. This is a survival mechanism that helps you to avoid detection by predators.

Some signs of the freeze response include shallow breathing and rigid or overly loose muscles. You may feel like you are stuck, unable to move or speak. Or you may feel like you are witnessing yourself from a distance. Some people describe feeling like they are not really there or that things are not real. Numbness, confusion, or lack of feeling can also be a sign.

Fawn

Fawn is what happens when you feel threatened by someone, but it’s not safe to fight or run. You choose to stay and try to keep the peace no matter what. This makes it one of the more complex stress responses. Instead of fighting back or freezing up, you focus on making others happy—sometimes even when it hurts you. If someone is upset, you rush to fix it. You agree with things you don’t believe. Or you may agree to do things your body doesn’t want to do. You may smile when you’re uncomfortable. On the outside, you seem easygoing, helpful, and extremely nice. Inside you might feel anxious, scared, exhausted, or even invisible.

Your body reacts too. Your heart might race, your stomach might feel tight, and your brain might get busy figuring out how to stay on everyone’s good side. This is different from a traditional Fight response, where you get angry and push back. However, it does have some similarities to fight. Instead of fighting for your life, you are fighting for the relationship at your own cost.

Like the Freeze response, there may be parts of your body or experience that shut down. However, it is not a complete freeze response in that you are still actively fighting to preserve the relationship. With Fawning, you move toward the threat instead of away from it—trying to stay safe by being likable and avoiding conflict. Over time, this can make it hard to know what you really want or how you really feel. This is because you’re so used to focusing on others. But the good news? Once you notice it, you can learn to reclaim your true feelings, set boundaries, say what you think, and take care of your needs too. The best part is you can learn to do this without self-sacrifice.

Couple Fight Stress Response

Stress is not your enemy!

As you probably know already, not all stress is bad. Each of the stress responses has its own way of protecting you from harm, in ways that are helpful and even life-saving. For example, the Fight response is necessary when you need to assert yourself. Whether that’s expressing an opinion in a meeting or telling a child to get out of a busy road. In these instances, your fight response is a friend and can be helpful in dealing with short-term threats. The problem is we can get stuck in our stress responses and overdo it. A stuck fight response can also lead to aggression, violence, or even chronic pain symptoms. Flight can be effective in dealing with long-term threats, but it can also lead to anxiety and avoidance. Freeze can be effective in dealing with overwhelming threats, but it can also lead to dissociation and detachment.

How Your Stress Response Affects Your Relationships

Our stress responses can have a significant impact on our relationships. When we are stressed, we may become more irritable, withdrawn, or aggressive. We may also have difficulty communicating effectively or problem-solving. This can lead to conflict, misunderstandings, and distance in our relationships.

It is important to be aware of how our stress responses affect our relationships both individually and as a couple. If we can learn to manage our stress healthily, we can improve our communication, reduce conflict, and strengthen our relationships. One of the best things to do if your partner is in a stress response is simply to express your concern.

To Communicate or Not When Under Stress

Someone who is in a stress response may not be ready to communicate right away. It’s important to respect and honor that. If they are open to talking, you can ask them how they are feeling and if they are aware of any of the signs of stress. If they are not aware of their stress signs, sometimes it better to leave any conversation to rest for some time until the stress is over. Some couples (or even family members) like to give each other permission ahead of time to gently point out when the other person is under stress. This can be helpful, so long as both people agree in advance. Pointing out a partner’s stress without a prior agreement will probably only increase it. You can also offer them support and encouragement either verbally or non-verbally.

But what if you, yourself are caught in a stress response? Then it’s probably best to focus on yourself before focusing on another person. Read on for how to do that for both yourself and as a couple.

child stress response

3 Approaches to Recover from Stress

There are many different approaches to healing from stress. Some common approaches include:

1. Time

Sometimes, the best way to heal from stress is to simply give yourself time. Allow yourself to take a short break from any current pressures in your life, even if it’s just for five minutes. This allows you the time you need to rest, recover, and process the stressful event. Over time, your body will naturally return to a state of balance. Parents often give kids a time-out for this reason. Adults sometimes need timeouts too. In my work with couples, I often encourage both partners to take a time-out for at least 20 minutes when emotions run high. Twenty minutes is the minimum amount of time most people need for their nervous systems to shift out of the stress mode and into something new. Though, many people need more time.

2. Space

Another helpful approach is to create space between yourself and the stressors. This could mean taking a break from work, spending time in nature, or getting away from the situation that is causing you stress. With couples, this often means physically creating separation between the two of you for a short period. Perhaps moving into different rooms if you live together or leaving the house briefly until the stress has settled a bit.

3. Perspective

Often, our stress is caused by our perception of a situation. Many people experience stress when they feel a boundary has been crossed. The tricky part is sometimes a boundary has not actually been crossed. Misunderstanding can make it seem this way. In this case, there may not be a real physical threat, but the experience can still feel threatening.

The important thing to know is that under stress your perspective will change. Your focus narrows and there may be a tendency to look for fault and to blame. This is the case even for simple misunderstandings, which are common in all relationships. Sometimes taking both time and space to calm down is enough to regain a wider perspective. Then, from a wider perspective, you can actually move beyond blame into a real conversation that might actually be helpful.

Having a wider perspective can be enough to reduce your and your partner’s stress levels. This ultimately can lead to the ability to re-frame the situation in a more positive light or accept that you cannot control everything.

If you are struggling with stress, please know that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you. Please reach out for help if you need it.

Relationship stress is unavoidable.

Stress is a normal part of life. And it’s also a normal part of all relationships. However, when stress becomes chronic, it can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health as well as the health of your relationship. It is important to learn how to manage stress in a healthy way. Both with yourself and with your partner. There are many different approaches to healing from stress, and the best approach for you will depend on you and your partner’s individual needs. If you are struggling with chronic stress, please reach out for help.

Stuck in a Stress Response?

A therapist can help you to understand your unique stress response, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and improve your relationships.

At Dance of Change, we use a variety of mindfulness-based stress reduction approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), yoga, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and many other approaches customized to your needs. Many of these can be applied to Individual, Family, and Couples Therapy.

Contact our office to get connected to an experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who can help or go to our booking page to request an appointment.

We are located in St Louis, Missouri, and serve couples in both Saint Louis City and Saint Louis County. Give us a call at (314) 827-5448 or email us at admin@danceofchange.com.

Self-Regulation: Your Guide to Stellar Mental Health

Body-Mind Medicine, , , ,

self-regulation

What is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to control your thoughts, emotions, and actions, even when things get tough. It’s about managing how you react to stress, frustration, and big emotions instead of letting them take over. Think of it as your inner control tower to keep calm, stay focused, and respond thoughtfully to what’s happening around you.

Why Self-Regulation?

Imagine you’re at work juggling multiple projects, relationships, and daily responsibilities. Suddenly, a big project goes sideways. If you’re like most people, your instinct is either to panic or blame. Whether you blame yourself or someone else, the impulse is strong. Self-regulation can potentially help you change that. Even if you just take a deep breath, step back, often you will be able to think clearly about your next steps. And chances are you will come across better. Instead of reacting emotionally, you might actually be able to calm down long enough to get something done.

Or maybe you’re stuck in traffic after a long day, and the frustration is building. This is a classic time for self-regulation. Rather than fuming or letting it ruin your mood, or boost your blood pressure, you can shift your internal state by using any number of tools.

Is Self-Regulation Just Being Calm?

No, self-regulation isn’t just about staying calm—though for some, that’s a big part of it! It’s also about managing your reactions in a way that aligns with your goals and values. Staying calm is often just the first step. Once you are calm, self-regulation means finding thoughtful ways to respond. If you suffer from anxiety, then finding tools to help calm your nervous system are key.

Also, there are some people who appear too calm. They might have low energy and be slow to respond, even in situations that require it. For these folks, self-regulation might mean finding tools that actually help energize. This is a common experience if you or a loved one struggles with depression.

It takes skill and practice to respond to any situation, even when emotions are strong. But it’s a worthwhile skill that many of us need!

Self-regulation helps you respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Will Self-Regulation Help Me Stop Experiencing Difficult Emotions?

Self-regulation isn’t about ignoring emotions. But if you find yourself always stuck in the same difficult emotions, it can help tip your brain in a new direction. It’s about increasing your capacity to handle ALL emotions without getting overwhelmed. You can learn to handle even difficult emotions in a way that keeps you in control, even when things are challenging. These skills don’t come naturally for most, but they can be learned. Whether it’s work stress, a tricky conversation with your partner, or a frustrating moment with your kids, self-regulation tools give you the skills and ability to handle whatever comes your way.

How We Have Organized This Guide:

We have structured this guide into five different categories of self-regulation tools. They are:

  1. Breathing Tools
  2. Grounding Tools
  3. Cognitive Tools
  4. Physical Regulation Tools
  5. Mindfulness Tools

Though many of the tools suggested span multiple categories, we grouped them under just one. Yoga, for example, is a vast and deep practice that contains both physical regulation tools, breathing tools, grounding and cognitive tools. We see this guide as an overview and introduction to many different tools. Our hope is that you feel inspired to choose a few and explore them more in depth. We recommend that you have at least five of these tools in your personal tool belt. And we hope that you use them regularly. Let’s begin.

self-regulation

1. Breathing Tools

Box Breathing

  • When to use: During moments of stress or anxiety, panic, especially when needing to quickly calm down.
  • How: Breathe in through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, exhale through your mouth for four, and hold again for four. Repeat until you feel calmer.
  • Examples: If feeling overwhelmed at work or before a big presentation. Also helpful if you are about to have a difficult conversation with your spouse or child. Box breathing helps to reset your nervous system.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

  • When to use: Helpful for ongoing stress management or to reduce chronic stress. Can be helpful to reset during high–anxiety phases of life.
  • How: Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Breathe in deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to expand. Exhale slowly through your mouth.
  • Examples: Practicing for 5-10 minutes each morning can improve overall stress response. Don’t expect a dramatic change right away though. This technique often takes practice.

2. Grounding Techniques

Sensing Your Feet

This is both a mindfulness and a grounding technique. It is so simple it can be practiced anywhere.

  • When to Use: Use this exercise when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected. It helps you focus on the present moment and regain a sense of stability.
  • How: Stand or sit with your feet flat on the ground. Shoes off is best. Pay attention to the sensation of your feet touching the floor. Notice the pressure, texture, and temperature. Slowly shift your weight from heel to toe and back, staying fully present with the movement. Take as much time as you need. Notice what happens to your breath and the rest of your body when you stay focused on your feet just for two minutes.
  • Examples:
    • Pause during a stressful workday to feel your feet pressing into the ground.
    • Practice when you start to feel overwhelmed by your kids’ behavior.
    • Use it outdoors, feeling the texture of grass or earth beneath your feet for extra connection to nature.

Cold Water Splash

  • When to use: In intense moments of distress, especially with racing thoughts or physical agitation.
  • How: Splash cold water on your face or run your wrists under cold water to stimulate the vagus nerve and promote a calming effect.
  • Examples: Useful before an important conversation if you’re feeling stressed or agitated.
  • Sources: Psychology Today, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

3. Cognitive Re-framing

Thought Challenging

  • When to use: When negative or unhelpful thoughts persist.
  • How: Identify the thought, evaluate its accuracy, and replace it with a balanced or realistic perspective.
  • Examples: When self-doubt arises, challenge thoughts like “I’m not good enough” with “I’m learning and improving.”

Gratitude Journaling

  • When to use: As part of a daily routine or during difficult times to foster positivity and mental balance. Our minds tend to have a negativity bias, and tools like this one can counter it.
  • How: Write down three things you’re grateful for each day, with reasons why.
  • Examples: Can be used in the morning to set a positive tone for the day or at night to reflect and relax.

4. Physical Regulation Techniques

Exercise and sleep are obviously an important part of staying regulated. Many people struggle to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, and you may be one of them. If that’s the case, then many of these tools will help. Often, getting enough exercise during the day is key to a good night’s sleep. Ideally, movement that gets your heart rate up for at least 20 minutes. Just remember to plan to do this at least three hours before bedtime if you have difficulties with sleep.

Dance Therapy

Dance

  • When to Use: Dance works well when you want to release pent-up energy, boost your mood, or reconnect with your body. It helps during moments of emotional overwhelm, frustration, or anxiety. Dance can also help you feel more grounded.
  • How: Dancing combines physical movement with rhythm and music, activating both your body and mind. It regulates emotions by lowering stress hormones, releasing endorphins, and improving focus and body awareness.
  • Examples:
    • Put on your favorite music at home to shake off stress after a long day. Let your body respond to the pulse and rhythm. If you have kids or a partner, invite them to join you. This helps everyone regulate.
    • Join a dance class for more structure or guidance. Dance channels emotions into creative expression. Dancing in groups can also build social connections, combat isolation, and reduce loneliness associated with depression.
    • Use structured dances like ballet or salsa to build discipline and enhance mental focus.

Cold Plunges

      • When to Use: Cold plunges are great when you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or in need of a quick energy boost. They’re especially helpful for resetting your mood or improving focus during a busy day. Done an hour before bedtime, they can also help with sleep.
      • How: A cold plunge involves immersing your body in cold water, typically around 50°F (10°C), for a short time. The cold activates your nervous system, boosts endorphins, and helps regulate your body’s stress response. Fill a bathtub with cold water or use a non-heated pool. Keep your head above water and submerge up to your neck. Try to stay for at least a minute, building up to 3 minutes. DO NOT immediately jump into a sauna or hot water. Allow yourself to warm up gradually.
      • Examples:
        • Take a quick cold plunge in the morning to feel awake and energized, much like coffee.
        • Use a cold plunge after a tough workout to reduce muscle soreness and calm your mind.
        • Jump into cold water after a stressful day to “reset,” regain focus, and relax.

Related Post: When Trauma interferes with self-regulation.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

    • When to use: When feeling physical tension or stress; effective before sleep or during breaks.
    • How: Tense each muscle group, hold for a few seconds, then relax. Move from toes to head.
    • Examples: Great as part of a bedtime routine to release tension from the day.

Couples Yoga Therapy

Yoga Poses for Stress Relief

    • When to use: Daily for ongoing stress reduction or in stressful moments.
    • How: Focus on energizing poses when you need to let off steam. Poses like warrior 1,2 or 3, Lions pose, plank or a vinyasa flow can be helpful. Then, focus on calming poses like child’s pose, forward fold, or legs up the wall to relax and stretch.
    • Examples: Use a quick forward fold or deep breathing stretch to ground yourself midday. Use Goddess pose to energize yourself before a big meeting.
    • Sources: Yoga Journal, Harvard Health Publishing

5. Mindfulness Techniques

These tools can help with just about anything. Sleepless nights when you lie in bed awake. Chaotic or overwhelming family gatherings. Or when you just finished a highly stressful meeting. These practices can be done any time of day or night. Try right before bed, or even in the middle of the night.

  • Body Scan Meditation
    • When to use: As a daily practice or when needing to relax before sleep.
    • How: Lie down, close your eyes, and focus on each part of your body, scanning from head to toe and relaxing each area.
    • Examples: Helpful as part of a wind-down routine at night.
    • Sources: Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley
  • Mindful Walking
    • When to use: When feeling stuck or overwhelmed; good for grounding or clearing the mind.
    • How: Walk slowly, paying attention to the sensations of your feet touching the ground and the rhythm of your breathing.
    • Examples: Take a 5-minute mindful walk during a break or to reset after intense work.
  • Music and Mindfulness

Self-Regulation for Couples

Many couples that come to see us complain of communication problems. But many don’t realize that good communication is at least in part, a self-regulation issue. Self-regulation helps you respond thoughtfully to your partner rather than impulsively. As mention earlier, it is more than calming yourself down. It’s about acting in ways that are true to the kind of person you want to be, no matter how you feel in the moment. Successful couples know how to give themselves and their partners what they need to get back in balance. Whether that means giving, your partner space to respond thoughtfully and effectively, rather than reacting out of impulse or frustration. Or using one of these tools to regulate yourself. Both are essential to making a relationship work.

Related Post: How to Get the Most Out Of Couples Counseling

Self-Regulation for Parents

Parents especially benefit from self-regulation skills. Imagine you’ve asked your child to do something three times, and they still ignore you. Of course, your going to feel frustrated. But what if, before raising your voice, you told your child you needed to take some time to calm down? And you did it! What if they saw you sit down and take a couple of deep breaths before speaking? Perhaps, then you would be able to try a different approach. Many parents would like their kids and teens to become more regulated, but they forget themselves. The reality is that many kids follow our examples. Self-regulation here doesn’t just help you—of course. It models a healthy response for your child, too. Which is something both of you probably need. Also, it’s important for families to regulate together at times.

Note: this information is provided as education . It is not meant as medical advice nor a substitute for medical advice and evaluation by a qualified health care professional.

Need Help With Your Self-Regulation?

Our  highly trained  Therapist or Can help you put a customized plan together that’s right for you.

Contact our office or…

Book your appointment now.

We are located in St Louis, Missouri and serve people in the following communities: Webster Groves, Kirkwood, Crestwood, Maplewood, Brentwood, Rockhill, Richmond Heights, Clayton, Shrewsbury, Lindenwood, Ladue, Central West End and the surrounding areas.

Give us a call at: (314) 827-5448 or email us at admin@danceofchange.com

 

Chronic Pain Relief Guide

Body-Mind Medicine, , ,

Chronic Pain Chronic Pain Relief Guide:

8 Essential Practices you need to live pain-free.

Are you part of the 20% of  people living with chronic pain? If so, you are in good company. It’s estimated that more than 1 in 5 Americans suffer from chronic pain. What’s worse many doctors may feel at a loss about how to help pain suffers, other than to prescribe more medication. For some, medication offers some needed temporary relief. For others, the side effects can be just as bad as the pain itself. Its seems that many solutions are often temporary or may not work at all. This can add to the sense of overwhelm, fear and exhaustion that is already part of the pain experience.

Health care: where we are now

Let’s face it, the pandemic hasn’t made things any easier. With long-haul COVID reported in anywhere from 15-50% of cases, it’s likely that many millions of people worldwide will be suffering from chronic pain. And with chronic pain often comes grief, depression, trauma and anxiety.  It doesn’t help that our current  healthcare system is already stretched to its limits.  Many folks can alternate between hopelessness and desperation when it comes to getting help.

This guide was designed to give you a window into another way. Both another way to think about your pain and another way to deal with it. That way involves a body oriented, holistic approach. I know! You likely feel you’ve tried that already. Perhaps you’ve done acupuncture, herbs, over the counter medicines, prescription medicines, maybe you’ve even tried meditation. That’s all good. But let’s explore for minute what might be at the source of the pain for a moment.

The Pain Dance

Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing and author of Freedom from Chronic Pain, has this to say “Since pain comes from the body, we abandon and leave our bodies behind. In that way we betray our bodies.” But many people also feel betrayed by their bodies and so it’s easy to abandon them in the first place. It can feel like a vicious cycle .

So the purpose of this guide is to help you gradually think about how you can build trust with your body. Once you have even a little bit of trust with your body you start to befriend it. Befriending you body is the essential first step in beginning to free your self from the pain dance. The challenge is to befriend your body even when it feels bad.  This is not an easy task. But like learning anything new, befriending your body gets easier over time. It’s like a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it.

1. Befriend Your Body, Shift the Chronic Pain Dance

    1. Identify a pain free or less pain place within your body.
    2. Pendulate between a place of no pain or less pain ( hold your awareness there for 5-10 seconds). Bring your attention to a moderate pain point – not the most painful spot ( hold your focus there for 5-10). Bring your focus back to the experience of no/less pain ( hold focus for 5-10 seconds). Rest.

Do this during your free time at your own pace.

The more you can identify sensations, the richer your relationship with your body.

Let it go on the exhale

  1. Bring attention to a pain free part of the body. Sense into it as you breath in. Let it go as you breath out.
  2. What are you finding now in your body that you didn’t notice? ( no right or wrong answer here). There is only your way. And that way is always changing because you are always changing.

“““

2. Flow of Breath

I often invite people to explore breath flow in their body. Chronic pain suffers are often also shallow breathers. Or you may be more of a breath holder. Either way, both breathing patterns can create a sense of constriction in the body, which can aggravate pain. The following is a mindfulness practice using the breath.

To practice, do this now:

Take some time to sense your breath in your body. You are looking for areas that  feel OK,  relatively OK, as well as areas of discomfort. In addition to chronic pain, you might also notice parts of you that feel numb or disconnected. Now begin to notice the felt sense of right side of your body. Compare this to your breath. Is there a difference? Often there is. See if you can get clear on that difference. Usually, it’s a difference of quality or texture. Maybe one feels heavy and another light. Perhaps one feels tingly and the other calm. What ever that difference is see if you can hold both in your minds eye for at least 10 seconds. Breathe.

Now let’s do the same on the left side. Is there one side of your body that’s more comfortable than the other? See if you can use the language of sensation ( hot/cold, heavy/light etc) to sense that difference from the inside. Imagine you can breath in through and up the more comfortable side of your body. Starting up through your foot, to the center of your breathing, your belly. Sense your breath crossing up through your body and as you exhale, cross over. Feel your breath moving down and through and out through the other leg, through the center of the breath

Breath + Image

Imagine for a minute that your breath is a magnet that can pick up more comfortable sensations. What sensations would it pick up? Warmth? Coolness? Calm or ease? Pulsation or stillness? Take your time to imagine this now. As you breath in the breath picks up the comfortable sensation. Then, as you exhale visualize  bringing those more comfortable experiences into your body. You can either see these sensations move down from the top of your head to the rest of your body. Or  you can see them traveling up through your feet to your leg.  Pause and see what’s different in your body. No rush here.

When there’s flow in our bodies, we don’t experience the pain as much, and sometimes not at all. Flow is the opposite of the pain state.  Where there is a sense of flow there is no pain.

 

For back discomfort: Imagine, as you inhale, breathing from the base of the pelvis up to the mid line.  Imagine coming all the way up to top of head.  Feel your spine naturally lengthening. As you exhale, imagine your breath down through your low back and out your mid line. What’s different? What’s the same?

 

3. From Chronic Pain to Deep Rest 

Start at your head or your feet. Take a journey up or down your body and find places of respite or rest from your pain. Pay particular attention to parts of your body you can’t feel. Now go up to your legs and pay attention to areas where you tend to connect and also where you tend to disconnect.  Move up or down the body gradually.  Take a few moments to use your breath and sense your way into the numb and disconnected places you have found.  Breathing in, feel the numb or disconnected parts of your body. And now do the same breathing out.

What’s different? Are there ways you feel more connected?  Is your sense of pain different?

Chronic Pain

4. Touch  Ground to Ease Pain

There often exist a connection between trauma and physical pain. If this true for you, than you already know that spending too much time in your body can sometimes feel like too much.  This next exercise may be helpful. The goal is to fine safety in your physical environment, but also in a neutral body part, like your feet. If your feet are the primary source of pain for you than choose a different body part such as your hands. Assuming your feet are a neutral place than let’s begin there.

You can do this in a standing, sitting or laying down position, though sitting is better. Notice how each of your feet contact the ground. Allow your feet to become wider as you breath. Notice the ground support you from the bottom up.

Gently shift your weight more onto your left foot. Shift your weight ever so slightly so there’s a little more weight on your right foot, subtly shift back and forth.  As you do this a few times you’ll probably notice a rhythm emerge. Allow your body wants to continue to go from one side to another. Remember to stop and rest if your get tired or dizzy. Enjoy this sense of rhythm and flow.

5. Simple Breath 

Follow the flow of breath as it moves and it moves out again. Notice what changes in your body with that one simple cycle. What a changes in your pain? Try another breath, like waves on the beach. What changes next time?

Explore Sound:

Sound can open and create vibrations in the organs and in the belly.  Expression through sound can also send new signals to the body and brain that may have been shut down due to stress.  When you make a sound you stimulate the vagus nerve which helps signal relaxation and also social engagement. You also open up the chest, throat, and lungs. It’s also a great way to help to  self regulate.

Voo Sound. This is both a sound exercise, as well as a breathing  breathing practice. To get a sense of how this works you might first watch this video.  Feel the vibrations that are created in your belly. Imagine a fog horn. Enlivens our viscera while creating an optimum balance of carbon dioxide in the blood. Getting down deep to the very reptile part of our brain can shift your relationship to the chronic pain dramatically. But it takes some time! Do this as much as you want. At least 3x a day especially when you notice your chronic pain increase or you start to feel stressed.

6. Shift Your  Posture=decrease chronic pain

A combination of life habits and trauma can have an impact on your posture. That posture can then reinforce chronic pain patterns. Mane people get stuck either in a bracing pattern or a posture of collapse. The goal here is to shift out of these patterns to a neutral posture.  Bracing posture is often characterized by tightness or rigidity through the spine and limbs. When you are in a collapsed posture, your shoulders curl forward and there is weakness in the belly.

Practice:

Feel strength in your legs. Push down into your feet. Notice vertebrae by vertebrae how your spine starts to strengthen and lengthen. Notice how the strength in your legs starts to move up into your spine and how the shoulders begin to rest open into a more even position. Imagine a tiny string attached to the top of your head. And as you feel the string pulling you up to the sky, feel your spine elongating. Feel your head floating and moving toward the sky. Notice what happens to the feelings of helplessness and collapse. As you feel the strength, the feelings of helplessness and collapse disappear. Practice times several times throughout the day. Whenever we feel triggered by feelings of helplessness, notice the collapse in your body and the strength

Move a little bit into the familiar collapse posture, then move out. Notice your spine elongate again. Your breath now has more room to move. Feel the strength in your feet and also the length of the spine. Imagine your head as though it were a balloon. The balloon is light and lifting upwards. yet, your feet still keep you connected to the ground. See if you can sense both. Note what happens to your pain when you create this much space in your torso.

7. Notice Exceptions to Chronic Pain

When your pain is at it’s worse it’s easy to fixate on it. That’s understandable but not helpful. the problem is that your brain can easily get into a habit of fixation. This can actually amplify your experience of the pain and make it feel more chronic. To counteract this, it helps to notice exceptions. For many people this is hard to do! You’re not alone if you struggle with this exercise. The brain’s natural negativity bias is partly to blame. But you can change it!

Practice:

Try answering the following questions:

When in the past days or week have you felt less chronic pain?

When in the past day or week have you felt less anxious?

Are there any times in the past week to two weeks when you felt most like yourself?

Can you feel what happens in your body as you recall this experience? Take your time. This is what the late Dr. Maggie Phillips called the conflict free moment.

8. Explore Your Fight Response

Many of us have an unhealthy relationship with anger. It’s one of the strongest and hardest emotions to navigate. Anger can get triggered for any reason, but it often gets triggered in our most intimate relationships with partners, friends, kids and family. Some people express anger too much, and it can become almost like an addiction. Others do not express it enough. Regardless of where you fall on the anger spectrum,  anger, like any emotions can get stuck. Especially, for chronic pain suffers. When anger gets stuck it is often held in the body. When that happens it’s often helpful to explore your fight response. By exploring you fight response you can gently begin to release it.

Practice:

Imagine you are your favorite wild animal. Picture in your mind’s eye what that animal looks like. See it’s face and body. Notice how it walks, whether it makes noise or not. Now, step into the body of the animal. Feel the strength and power of this animal in your body. How does this animal see, move, taste or smell? What’s different about this experience compared to your own?

Now, pretend that an equally powerful animal is entering your territory. They are coming closer. Remember, this is YOUR territory and it’s your job to defend it. If you notice your body moving into fear, retreat or collapse, then stop. Go back and imagine the animal again. Take time to feel the power in your own body and also your connection to the ground. This may be enough for now.

You can go back to explore the fight response again whenever you are ready.  Practice feeling the determination to protect and fight back. Remember, this is not about anybody getting hurt. It’s about simply practicing a natural nervous system defense. You may start to feel yourself prepare for action. Notice the strength in your arms and legs. Feel the readiness in your torso. How long are you able to stay with this strength? Stay with this experience as long as possible until it begins to naturally shift.

Want some guidance with these practices?

Connect with a highly trained Somatic Therapist or Yoga Therapist by contacting our office.

Book your appointment now.

We are located in St Louis, Missouri and serve people in the following communities: Webster Groves, Kirkwood, Crestwood, Maplewood, Brentwood, Rockhill, Richmond Heights, Clayton, Shrewsbury, Lindenwood, Ladue, Central West End and the surrounding areas.

Give us a call at: (314) 827-5448 or email us at admin@danceofchange.com

We offer in person sessions in our office in Saint Louis, MO in Webster Groves as well as video (Telehealth) session for anyone located in the state of Missouri.

 

 

 

Yoga for the Eyes: 4 simple exercises to prevent pain and strain

Body-Mind Medicine, , , ,
Yoga for the Eyes
Yoga for the Eyes: moving the eyes in all six directions

As I’ve conducted more and therapy sessions online I’ve noticed increased somatic symptoms both in myself and others. Staring at a screen for long periods in not a natural behavior and puts an incredible amount of strain on your body, your brain. Over time it can  create screen fatigue in your entire system,  especially your eyes.

Eyes train can lead to migraines and a whole host of other problems. In addition to following best practices during screen time use, these four exercises from the yoga tradition can be helpful. I’ve put together some of these exercises in a picture format so you can just print out the picture and hang it near your computer. Again, the less screen time the better, and chances are you are reading this on screen right now. J I’ve also kept the exercise descriptions as short as possible. These can be done in any order, but if you are experiencing eye fatigue currently, it’s probably best to start with Palming.

  1. Palming

This is savasana for the eyes. To rest sore eyes immediately after a screen time binge, start by finding a comfortable positon either sitting or lying down and allow the eyes to close. Place your hands together in prayer position and rub them together vigorously to generate heat. Now cup your hands over your eyes and allow the heat and darkness to sooth a relax them.

Variation: If you tend to run hot and/or dry and heat is aggravating to you, place a cool, wet washcloth over your eyes and allow the coolness, darkness and moisture to do its work.

  1. Explore the Six Directions

If you’ve had a lot of screen time already, feel free to print this image and hang on your wall by your computer for a quick visual reminder.  If the eyes are already aggravated, you can do palming in between each direction to allow for both rest and integration.

  1. Look up for a few breaths, then down ( repeat 5x)
  2. Look to the far upper right hand corner; moving the eyes on a diagonal line look down to the lower left. Hold for a few breaths each ( repeat 5x)
  3. Look to the far upper left hand corner; moving the eyes on a diagonal look down to the lower right. Hold for a few breaths each ( repeat 5x)

 

  1. Eye Circles

Now we will put all six directions together. Start by looking up. Circle the eyes slowly by touching all six directions in one smooth connected circle. Switch directions and go counter clock-wise.

 

  1. Near and Far

Hold your thumb close to your face. Let your eyes focus on your thumb for a few seconds then find a point far away to focus. A window with a bit of a view is great for this exercise. Look as far away as you can for a few breaths. (Repeat 5x)

Further exploration on yoga for the eyes:  want more ? Check out these articles here, here and here.

Looking for a somatic therapist and yoga instructor who works online and can help with your particular situation? Check out our schedule for availability.